


o to bloom

by LittleLimey



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Fatherhood, Caleb Backstory Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, bittersweetness, two men from different backstories cope with looking after a baby, whilst also navigating a heavy crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20595176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLimey/pseuds/LittleLimey
Summary: Caduceus wants to go visit a temple of the Wildmother, and Caleb accompanies him to ensure his safe return to the group. In amongst this they have purely private time to the pair for the first time in months, allowing for thoughts to arise and be considered.Then everything starts to get more interesting when Caduceus finds an abandoned baby, and dregs of Caleb's past start to pull themselves up.





	1. plant a seed

Erlgard wasn’t a big town by any stretch of the mind, but Caleb couldn’t exactly call it a village either. Cobblestone roads were rolled out to meet incoming travelers off the dirt-beaten trail, and there were a few metal lamps to be lit come sundown with its blanket of darkness. These soft glowing lights greeted the Mighty Nein as they made their way through the town, passing a handful of Crownsguard that raised greetings on their patrol and were somewhat amicable (with the smoothing of a couple gold pieces) to direct the Nein toward an inn by name of “The Mother’s Embrace”.

Sliding around a large enough table, Fjord and Nott went to collect food and drinks while Beau pawed through her letter(s) once more from the Cobalt Soul contact she’d been asked to meet here. While she murmured over information that could have been coded or could have been normal requests for whiskey, Caleb looked up to Caduceus and found the firbolg looking a bit more absent than usual.

“Something on your mind?”, he asked Caduceus. An ear flickered, a brief response to Caleb’s words before Caduceus turned to look to him and focus in on him. 

“The Mother’s Embrace”, he said. “I guess they know about the Wildmother’s temple near here. I’d be surprised, it’s a few days travel from here but they still give it, ah….they know it’s there, and refer to the Mother here.”

“They give it recognition”, Caleb said, a little off-handedly. It was worth it though to see Caduceus nod his head in the ‘yes, that’s the right word’ manner. 

“Do you know where all of the temples to the Wildmother are?”, Jester asked, her tail beginning to curl from side to side while she leaned forward on her elbows. Her eyes held her usual gleam of curiosity, the same when she commented on how Caduceus knew all firbolgs and such like that. But Caduceus waved a hand, shaking his head slightly.

“I only know about this one because the Mother told me about it”, he said, and that definitely piqued Caleb’s attention (as well as the attention of everyone at the table if Beau’s raised head meant anything). “I’m hoping that since we’re going to be here for a while-”

“A week, yeah”, Beau said. “We got in crazy early so my contact won’t be here for a couple more days. It’ll give us time to, y’know….not have to worry too much about horrible monsters or shit like that.”

“Yeah, we super deserve a break!” Jester let her elbows give out so she could drop forward onto the table, although her eyes remained looking up towards Caduceus’s face, waiting for what he wanted to say.

“I want to go visit this temple”, Caduceus explained. “It would be nice, I feel. And I’m sure there’s a reason why she would have told me specifically about such a place. It’s quite old, it may well have been abandoned to the forest and to time if the temple keepers had moved on or if the flow of pilgrims to her had ceased. The inn sign is peeling but they never changed it, nor did they bother to repaint it. It’s a memory here, not a resting place anymore for those who go to the temple.” 

That was frighteningly good observation. And it did make sense, in Caleb’s eyes. While he sat by Caduceus, looking across the tavern, he could see the crook and wreath hanging above the door to the kitchens where two half-elves bustled in and out. But there were also places where things should have been there, empty spots that were too empty, pictures that were left alone in their space when there should have been more. There were memories here, but whatever pilgrimage this inn might have supported now only lingered like a passing sigh.

Beau leaned back in her seat, a frown on her face. 

“I really do not like the idea of you going off by yourself, Duece”, she said, sounding out each word with concern. “You might have been fine by yourself in the Savalierwood, but you’re part of this gang now. No-one gets left alone.”

Silence slipped into the place after Beau’s words. It was a cold mantle that weighed down too heavily, pushed the breath from Caleb’s lungs when he tried to speak to comfort or allay those words, and needed the strength of Atlas it seemed to be shrugged away.

“He won’t be going alone, because I can go with him”, Caleb said. 

“Oh, that’s even worse-”

“Is it Beauregard? You do not need me here, I am very confident in your skills that you will be able to handle meeting your contact without any issue. They reached out to you after all. You have a good memory and a good head on your shoulders for making decisions.” Caleb paused, watching Beau shuffle back more in her seat, the barbs to deflect his honest praise stuck inside her throat. 

“Caduceus is a healer. If he or I are injured, he can look after us. But he could do with having someone to help protect him as well”, Caleb continued to explain, his palms open as if to display his words across the table. “I can provide shelter with the Hut spell too, so we don’t risk being attacked in our tents by night.” 

“Also Caduceus can make food and water!”, Jester piped up, sitting up to attention again. “So they wouldn’t have to worry too much about taking rations. Although you really should pack some rations, just in case. Maybe before you go we could check out the bakery together.”

“And that isn’t a ploy to buy us doughnuts, is it?” There was no _ verbal _ response to Caleb’s eyebrow-raised question, but Jester’s smile stayed the same and her tail began to curl much more tightly. Caleb turned his eyes to Beau next, glancing across tight lips and frowning eyes, but the initial defensiveness had softened.

“Fine. Go check out your stupid temple”, she said, tossing her hands up in defeat. “If either of you get into shit I’ll have to rescue you and say I told you so.” 

“It is greatly appreciated”, Caleb said, and for a moment his smile passed to Beau before she rolled her eyes. Jester was bouncing slightly in her seat, grinning gleefully at the happy Caduceus and content Caleb.

“Awww, you guys are gonna be going on a date, that’s so cute”, she cooed. The rush of blood to Caleb’s cheeks was instant, and he shook his head and hands both. 

“Nein, nein, not a date!”, he said quickly. 

“Well, it’s going to be quite a few days, so it’ll probably be several dates”, Caduceus said in his soft musing manner, enough to send Caleb hiding into his arms and Jester falling back in her seat in a peal of giggles. 

* * *

After a night of chatter, food and well-needed rest, Caduceus and Caleb collected their travel bags. Spare rations came their way with extra copper and silver wire from Nott, a bottle of whiskey from Beau that might have technically been from Nott as well, and a trip to the local bakery with Jester to retrieve a fresh loaf of bread and indeed a bag of doughnuts (a bag for her and a bag for them, of course). Stepping out onto the main road, Caleb could feel the day in dreariness begin to prepare for a slowly gathering rainstorm. No sign of oncoming clouds on the horizon, with the sky being completely clouded over already, but the air felt heavier and colder than the previous night, and he was sure he could already taste raindrops when he breathed in.

“Gonna be raining soon”, Caduceus commented as well, beginning to make his way along the road. 

“Is this your knee again?”, Caleb asked. One of Caduceus’ steps hesitated, making space for him to turn back to Caleb with a soft smile.

“You remembered that”, he said. No query, just a statement, but one full of questioning regardless.

“Ja. I remember pretty much everything”, Caleb replied. “Just….just let me know if it starts hurting too much. You should set the pace, I don’t want to rush you when you are in discomfort.”

“It’s all fine. I’ve got the longer legs after all, I’m sure a slower pace for me would suit you just fine.” Caduceus turned back towards the road, smiling to the air and to the journey ahead of them. Caleb took a moment to figure out if the firbolg had intended to be patronising or trying to reassure him, before deciding he was still a considerable enigma that Caleb was still in the process of figuring out. 

Of course, it didn’t help that Caleb was also in the process of figuring out the relationship between himself _ and _ Caduceus. It was hard to do when they were constantly in proximity to danger or the rest of the group and Caleb didn’t have much opportunity to separate himself and Caduceus from all of the background noise around them. There were a few moments, yes. Moving into the Xhorhaus, watching their two clerics bring light to the tree on top of the house, lying awake in the dome and being reassured at the sight of Caduceus’ chest gently moving. Finding safety in being close to Caduceus when they traveled the tomb together. 

It was hard. 

Perhaps now at least they would have a few days of peace together. Time for Caleb to think in silence, to think on what/who he had before him. What they meant together, what Caduceus meant to him, what Caleb meant to him in return. Too many loud thoughts for a mind surrounded by noise. Out here he could (he hoped, he really did) spend some time unpicking his thoughts from the aberrant tangle in his head. 

The rain began to fall about an hour after Caduceus took them off the main road, leading the way onto a path that veered straight into the forest. Exposed dirt and rocks were ample underfoot as testament to the numbers of people who’d walked or ridden this trail, but now weeds and moss seemed desperate to try and crawl in to take root in the emptiness left behind by time. It provided for slick terrain in some places, with Caleb trying not to stumble too frequently and Caduceus leaning against his staff in spots where the rain became thin rivulets in the loose ground. Thankfully the rain itself wasn’t heavy enough to deter them from the path completely, instead providing a faint drizzle that played a lullaby in the leaves overhead. Everything was soothing - the cool air, the sound of pattering drops, the methodical one-two step as they walked the path. For a while, Caleb could feel at ease.

They stopped for lunch under a larger tree, and Caleb did his best to manipulate one of his fire cantrips down to heat in his palms in order to remove the worst of the water-logging from his clothes and Caduceus’. It didn’t manage to reduce the chill that the rainwater on their skin left though, and Caleb rubbed his arms to try and warm up in-between mouthfuls of soft and crusty bread. He didn’t want to risk accidentally burning himself not one day out because he underestimated his own magical manipulation ability. 

“You know it would be better if we stood real close together”, Caduceus commented. “Sharing body warmth and such.” Maybe on another day Caleb would have declined. But today it was just the two of them, hidden under a tree in the rain, and instead he moved out under the arm that Caduceus stretched out to him and pressed up against him. There wasn’t much warm from the side of him that was covered in that cold metal beetle shell, but when Caduceus dropped his arm over Caleb’s shoulder then he could feel some of the body warmth off the firbolg seeping into his system.

“Danke”, Caleb said quietly. 

“It’s no problem”, Caduceus replied. “You’re helping warm me up too, so I should thank you as well if you’re going to thank me.” 

Caleb didn’t have much of a response to that.

* * *

The rest of the day carried on in much the same fashion - walking for a few hours, taking a rest under a tree for a bite to eat, Caleb drying out their clothes and then standing or sitting under Caduceus’ arm while they encouraged more warmth back into their bodies to keep carrying on. By the time evening came around Caleb could feel himself waning, and Caduceus could see it in him too. While the pair sat together, backs against the trunk of a tree, Caduceus could feel Caleb sagging against his side. Even a cursory glance let him see that Caleb’s eyes kept fluttering shut for a few seconds before he’d snap awake again. He was certainly fighting to stay awake, and it was a loosing fight from the very start.

“I think we’ve traveled far enough”, Caduceus said aloud. 

“Mmph, ja?” Another few rapid blinks and Caleb was more awake again, more alert. “You think so? It is barely evening.”

“The rain isn’t exactly letting up though.” In fact Caduceus was sure in the time they’d taken to hide beneath this canopy, the rain had begun to fall harder. With the evening coming in, the temperature would begin to drop, and Caduceus had no intention of himself or Caleb getting hypothermia on this miniature pilgrimage. 

“We’d be better off setting a fire to cook dinner, and then bringing up the Hut to sleep”, he finished off. “I don’t mind how long this takes, Caleb. It’s only a couple of days travel, and we’ll be back to the town for certain before the week is up and Beau starts getting impatient.”

It seemed that Caduceus’ argument had swayed Caleb. Either that or the wizard was on his last dregs of energy and he didn’t have any wakefulness left over to try and argue. They collected a good pile of sticks from around the base of the tree, Caduceus patting her bark and thanking her for the gift she would be giving with her dead branches. Caleb brought the campfire to life, curling himself up close by the heat as Caduceus began to unpack his kit. Murmuring above the ground, Caduceus brought his hands up and summoned forth a collection of vegetables, water filling up an empty jug. He moved with the motions and precision of someone who’d gone through these preparations that he barely needed to think. Instead he let his mind wander to other things. Like how Caleb’s eyes looked even more blue in the firelight. Or how the temple was going to look when they got there. Or how-

“Hey.” Caduceus reached over and put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “You were about to fall asleep into the fire.”

“I’m sorry”, Caleb mumbled, shifting a pace back from the flames. “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”

“Blame the rain. It always makes me drowsy”, Caduceus said with a light-hearted chuckle as he set the pan over the fire. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to get a very good night’s rest tonight.”

“That is definitely for sure.” And even Caleb couldn’t deny himself the smile that Caduceus shared with him.

They ate in the silence shared by those who are tired and hungry. Caleb took a nip of the gifted whiskey and didn't offer any to Caduceus. Even in this weather he knew that he would decline any alcohol. Setting the plates aside, Caduceus cleared the space for Caleb to shuffle in and scratch out the lines for the Hut, watching as the hemisphere apparated into place. The interior was warm and dry, as it always was, and there was enough space this time to easily roll out sleeping mats and blankets without worrying about kicking Fjord in the shins or finding Nott on a pillow. 

It was both empty and comfortable at the same time. Although they’d set up their mats at a fair distance, enough to give each other the space they might need, Caduceus paused and looked across to Caleb. Both were hesitant. Caleb was shivering still.

“Come over here”, Caduceus said, beckoning Caleb gently over. “I know it’s warm but you could do with a little extra heating up.”

“Caduceus, I don’t want….I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable”, Caleb replied, his eyes moving away from Caduceus, away to the floor, anywhere but to him. Perhaps it was less Caduceus potentially being uncomfortable and more Caleb being uncomfortable. But Caduceus could understand some tells, and he knew he just needed to offer a little more.

“If you get sick overnight, then Beau will have both our heads”, he said. If Caleb’s slow haggard sigh meant anything, it was that Caduceus had said the right thing.

Gathering his sleeping mat and blanket, Caleb shuffled his way over and laid it out beside Caduceus’ sleeping things, where he’d already laid down to find a spot that didn’t involve a hidden pebble or tree root. Laying down together, Caleb shuffled in forward and under the beckoning arm that had been keeping him warm for most of the day. In this position Caduceus could almost tuck Caleb in under his chin. Faint scents of ash and dust rose from his clothes. It would be too easy to pull him in closer. Instead Caduceus lay still until he was sure that Caleb’s breathing had slowed to one of sleep, and only then did he close his own eyes, to let himself be lulled by the patter of rain on the leaves outside and on the dome of the Hut.


	2. budding green

Morning dragged itself in under the cover of clouds, and when it finally could bring the effort to do so it waved away the grey to bring in sunrise tumbling over the horizon. A chirruping choir of birds hailed the morning for Caleb, as the Hut dissipated around him to let in the lingering chill of the previous day’s rain. 

The night had been peaceful, no intrusion against the Hut or breaking against the silver thread Caleb had woven around the area. Sure the pair were safe in the boundaries of the Hut, no-one allowed to enter unless they were a friend of the caster, but Caleb was always cautious and he knew the ways of spellcasters. Any casting of Dispel Magic could have easily taken away their protection. He needed to be careful. Always, always needed to be careful.

Even with those thoughts having him prepared him for the night, he’d found his sleep to be heavy and without worry. No brittle edges to his rest, no dreams that suffocated him in smoke and tears and screams. No moments in the night where he’d wake up with a plea to stop on his lips and pain in his arms. If anything he could faintly remember a moment where he’d woken briefly but found himself gently swaddled in an embrace, warm and smelling of old leaves in late autumn and somewhat of a shoreline, musk and salt and seaweed. Wrapped up in these sensations, he’d fallen asleep almost immediately again.

Caduceus made Caleb feel safe. Helped him feel secure. He wouldn’t coddle him or pry him, only keep an eye on him and speak up when speaking was needed. Caduceus took care of the group around him and did it with such methodical consistency that rarely was it considered that he might need help in return. So Caleb had given him a pendant to keep him alive a little longer, and spoken to him about needing potions just in case, and offered books that would be of interest, and generally kept an eye on him. It certainly wasn’t that the others in the group neglected Caduceus, gods no, but Caleb...he wanted to make sure Caduceus was alright. He valued him. Maybe more than valued. Words danced on the periphery of his thoughts and when Caleb brought those words in to see if he could use such language for descriptors he would quickly return them to where they’d appeared, leaving them behind. Concern and traces of fear tainted his wish to consider the relationship anything more than allies and friends. Sickly tar-like strings took Caleb’s thoughts and ensnared them enough that anything that could unbind them were dismissed. He was not  _ deserving _ . He was not  _ allowed _ . 

But he wished in the silence of his privacy, and it was enough. 

Caleb cracked an eye open, sunrise dappling in through the trees around them and scattering soft light across the ground and over his face. Quickly the chill began to bite in deeper, with no arm across his side or body opposite him to beat back the cold air. Caduceus’ sleeping mat lay there, empty and still. A wash of memories with empty tents and cold chains swept Caleb’s mind, and he sat up rapidly, Caduceus’ name on his tongue.

“Good morning.” Caleb turned, and there he was, by the rekindled campfire, frying pan already sizzling with some food. Although Caduceus had been smiling, that friendly expression was sliding away to concern, as he stumbled from his seat to approach Caleb. “Mister Caleb?”

“I-I’m fine.” Caduceus was fine. He was here. He wasn’t gone. The tight grasp of panic loosened on Caleb’s chest, letting him suck in a long deep breath and attempt not to choke on the exhale. Kneeling beside him, Caduceus put a hand on his shoulder. The weight and warmth was good, it brought Caleb’s rapid thoughts back down to the ground. 

“I’m sorry to have startled you”, Caduceus said. “I’m making breakfast right now, but the tea is just brewed.” His eyes flickered, gaze traveling from point to point across Caleb’s face. It was one of unnerving mannerisms the firbolg held, the way one could watch him peel back a poker face to find the emotions raw beneath. Whatever he found there reassured him though, as his smile began to return with greater softness. Patting Caleb’s shoulder once, twice, he stood up and returned to the campfire. 

Taking a moment to close his eyes and continue breathing, Caleb began to feel his body complaining at having jolted so suddenly from rest. An ache in his chest and air like thick slurry in his throat were all testament to the abrupt surge of panic he’d experienced. He wanted to lay back down again, but he needed to change his shirt and eat breakfast and pack away so he didn’t delay Caduceus any further. Caleb had dealt with these bursts of panic enough times already, fearing an intruder from a creaking floorboard or a light in the window. This brief fear had been too different though, too real, too raw. He doubted he’d truly recover from that paranoia of loss, and neither would his friends. It was too easy to lose people he valued, it seemed. Maybe that was his own personal price to pay for growing attached.

A mug was pressed against Caleb’s hands, and he took it automatically. The steaming drink inside smelled of berries and spices and a hint of something sweet but floral. 

“I put a little bit of honey in”, Caduceus said. “You seem like the kind of guy who needs a little honey in his tea.” 

“Danke”, Caleb replied. At least his words were still working on instinct while the rest of his thoughts caught up. He watched Caduceus settle back down at the fire again as he took a slow inhale of the steam drifting up from the tea, taking a moment to enjoy the spiced aroma. Mostly he was a little distracted still. With the light still breaking through the treeline, soft oranges and yellows were cast across Caduceus, lighting up the pale streaks in his hair like threads of gold and giving his fur a gentle glow. He may as well have worn a halo of his own, when he smiled back to Caleb and the sunrise crowned him so perfectly. 

Caleb reminded himself to breathe, and he smiled back. 

“What have you made for us this morning?”, he asked Caduceus, beginning to shift his way over towards the campfire. When he didn’t focus on the tea in his hands, he could smell the various peppers and herbs that Caduceus enjoyed to cook with, and other herbs that he had probably collected during their traveling. 

“Some basic mushrooms and eggs”, Caduceus replied, shifting the contents of the pan around idly. He might have described it as basic but already Caleb could feel his mouth begin to water, with the smell of cooking eggs and salt and herbs permeating the air. “It’s not much, but it’ll go nice with the rest of the bread. Maybe we’ll be able to pick more on our way to the temple.” 

“Is your Create Food spell limited?”, Caleb questioned.

“It produces food that I want. But I’ve always found that fresh mushrooms, well, fresh anything are much nicer than vegetables and stuff summoned up. Herbs and spices will only get you so far.” Caduceus glanced across to Caleb, his head tilting to the side. His hair was still partially mussed from sleep, bundled up around his shoulders. Caleb blinked rapidly, focusing on his words (not his lips). “How’s the tea?”

The first sip was overly hot, and Caleb had to blow on the surface to cool it to a point where it was warming but not scalding. The next sip though had different flavours to the smell - a touch of sweetness that could have been honey or berry or both, and spices that could have been ginger and cinnamon. Within a few moments the morning chill began to fade from Caleb’s body, and any tightness left within his chest started to ease away completely.

“It’s very good”, he replied, giving Caduceus a grateful look.

“Good. I figured you’d like that one, but it’s good to know that I was right.” Content, Caduceus picked up their plates from the previous night and ladelled out hefty portions of egg and mushroom. 

“Do you believe we will be able to reach the temple today?”, Caleb asked between spoonfuls of breakfast. Caduceus frowned slightly, his eyes wrinkling up in heavy thought, and he looked down the path that they’d been following.

“I don’t think we will”, he finally replied. “The rainfall yesterday slowed our progress quite a bit. We should certainly make it by tomorrow morning, though.” If there had been any disappointment in his response, then Caleb couldn’t see or hear it, his tone remaining rather calm and neutral. It was entirely possible that Caduceus was simply looking forward to getting to the temple, never mind how long it took for them to get there.

“It does seem that the weather has cleared up”, Caleb said, looking out beyond the leaves towards a clear blue sky. “If this keeps up, we will make very good progress, cover a lot of ground.” After spending weeks traveling on the road between towns (and even countries), a couple of days to a temple was no issue to him. Especially if this temple was important to Caduceus. That made it important to Caleb too. 

“You make a good point there. Yeah, it’s good to be positive”, Caduceus said. His eyes were beginning to take on the sheen that came about when he was excited, his smile gaining more energy without breaking the calm. It was a good smile.

* * *

This next day seemed to pass by much faster than the first. As Caleb had predicted, they covered much more ground than when they’d been struggling against the rain, although now they had the occasional puddle-slicked bog to contend with at a few points along their trail. Lunch was spent gazing out through a wedge in the forest that gave a lovely view over the valley, soaking in sunlight and the birdsong around them. No other people showed up on the path, but it wasn’t private in any slight regard. Rabbits vanished from the trail ahead of them as soon as they came into view, a fox came and went in a blink of rusty red fur. Birds sang in chorus from the branches overhead, and a hawk carried it’s own solo cry further out in the valley. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it? The Wildmother’s embrace”, Caduceus commented idly as they made their way.

“What do you mean?”

“She nurtures and loves all of nature. Trees, flowers, mushrooms, creatures. Life and death in kind. I wouldn’t be surprised if the thriving numbers here are because of her. We had quite the same around our graveyard, until the Savalirwood began to sicken too much for most animals to actually live there. Some stayed. The ones that were hardier mostly.” 

Caleb had to gnaw on his lower lip to avoid a grimace. While no creatures had been seen on his first trip into the Savalirwood, there’d been signs of them hidden within the dying forest and Nila had warned of them. Nothing that Caleb had felt too comfortable with facing at the time.

“Do you think there might be creatures here that are ‘hardier’ such as those in the Savalirwood?”, Caleb asked. 

“.....Maybe. There’s always hardier creatures around, wherever you go looking and if you’re unlucky enough to find them or have them find you”, Caduceus replied with a ‘oh well, what can you do?’ shrug of the shoulders. “All kinds of life will thrive in the places were it can. And when we’re this close to a source of the Wildmother’s boon, then I wouldn’t be too surprised if a stronger creature were to take advantage of all the other forest critters living in this area. That’s just how food chains work.” 

Despite Caduceus’ content expression, Caleb began to feel a nervous prickling on the back of his neck. Suddenly the cry of the hawk was the call of a hunter, one of many within this forest. Caduceus seemed to pick up on Caleb’s sudden unease, because he looked down to him and patted his shoulder. 

“Wariness is a good thing to have whenever you’re on the road, and whenever you’re in a place like this”, he said. “Neither of us know what’s out there. Could be wolves. Could be boars. Could be something a bit worse.”

“Something hardier”, Caleb muttered. 

“Yeah, something hardier. I’ll keep an ear and an eye out too.”   


No hunting beasts appeared on the trail that day. The forests around them remained empty of hungry eyes or pointed teeth, although Caduceus found a series of larger paw prints sunk into the soft dirt. However many wolves there’d been, the pack had been heading east, deeper into the forest. It would be unlikely that they would return any time soon, and the chances of them accidentally intercepting their path would be slim.

Finding another tree to take shelter underneath (not from the rain, but simply for the safety of her arching trunk and branches), they ate the remains of the previous night’s dinner cold. Without the chill of rain, Caduceus saw no need to sacrifice any twigs to a campfire, and even with the sunset still casting enough light for Caleb to see, all the wizard needed was a quick gesture and incantation and several globules of light cast enough to let him better see the ground where he etched out the Hut. 

Caleb’s focus was always very intense when he cast a spell, be it drawn out ritual or a matter of seconds. His gaze remained on where he was casting, or on the ingredients he needed to complete the spell. The fading light of daytime overlaid bronzed tones on his hair, burning orange blinking bright strands through the copper, as if embers were lit across his head. Even his eyes seemed bluer in this light, so much deeper as he measured out the circle of the Hut. 

It was unsurprising. Caleb was generally an intense man. Intense in his thoughts, his planning. For all he could be subdued in conversation, he had a strength that pressed him forward into someone more intimidating. There were plans laid out into the world that he was meant to be part of, and he was determined to follow a plan of his own, whatever it was. And along with this he was caring. A deep friendship tied himself and Nott together, and that friendship had woven itself out throughout the Mighty Nein, binding them to Caleb. Sometimes he seemed to fear it, sometimes he was grateful for it. But above all he nurtured it as one would nurture a garden. There was still growth left in Caleb, sickened branches to be trimmed when it was safe to remove from the plant, a rot deep within him that Caduceus doubted he could ever pry free from the bark. And yet he wanted to try and at least ease the depth of that rot. To encourage forth the smile that Caleb bloomed when a good spell went well, or the group around them were merry with cheer. It was a rare bloom, small and sweet and undeniably precious in more than just rarity. It was beautiful. It was a smile that Caduceus treasured, because for a moment it seemed that Caleb was allowing himself a moment of happiness.

“Caduceus?” Shaking his head to snap himself from his thoughts, Caduceus looked toward’s Caleb, now invisible within the dome. 

“Sorry, I must’ve been nodding off there”, Caduceus murmured, gathering his bag and mat and stepping into the Hut. 

Again, they rolled out their sleeping mats a respectful distance from each other. Tonight they were both dry and already warm. No chills were deep in their bones that required the need to share body warmth or personal space. But again, the emptiness played on both their minds, and after a few minutes Caduceus could hear Caleb shuffling about in the darkness. 

“Mister Caleb?”, he voiced, just before he felt a foot jab into his side. 

“Shit, sorry”, Caleb muttered above his head. His sleeping mat was dropped to the ground with a soft  _ phlump _ , and Caduceus could feel Caleb lying down again, this time close into arm’s reach. 

“Feeling lonely?”, Caduceus asked. 

Silence.

“It’s okay, I was feeling kinda lonely myself.” 

“.....A little.” 

“You want me to hold you again?”

“Only if you would like to.” Well, that was about as close to a yes as Caduceus was going to be able to muster from Caleb’s nervousness. It didn’t seem that he was uncomfortable with the concept, but something still held back his tongue from outright asking for the closeness. Perhaps it was the same thing that had kept Caduceus from asking beforehand if Caleb wanted to sleep beside him again. Regardless, he settled down under the blanket, the presence of Caleb against his chest and under his arm as a gentle boon of the night.

* * *

This time when Caleb woke up refreshed to the sound of birdsong and sunlight on his cheeks, he was more prepared for the lack of firbolg against his body. This time, he also woke up to the sound of humming song. 

Rolling onto his side, he looked across the empty space the Hut had been and watched Caduceus happily chopping up some apples, dropping the slices onto plates with other fruits, nuts and berries laid out. Caduceus had apparently decided to weave his hair into a braid this morning, and the thick locks were draped over his back to stay out of his hands while he worked and hummed. The whole scene was one of such domesticity that Caleb couldn’t bring himself to tell Caduceus he was awake. Instead he continued to lay on his sleeping mat, watching Caduceus prepare their breakfast, pausing only to lift a teapot from above a circle of glimmering ash and pour the contents out into two mugs. When Caduceus calmly looked to Caleb and simply smiled instead of seeming surprised that Caleb was awake, Caleb felt a brief pang of panic (had Caduceus noticed Caleb watching him?) that was muffled by his need to sit up as Caduceus made his way over to him with a mug of tea.

“A better morning today than yesterday”, Caduceus commented. “Did my humming work?”

“Work?” Had Caduceus meant to wake Caleb up sooner? It had certainly been a good sound to wake up to, his voice rumbling deep bass notes in a surprisingly jaunty melody for sunrise hours. 

“To let you know I was still close by”, Caduceus explained. Oh. Caleb nodded slowly, lifting the tea to his lips to sip. It was slightly cooler today, and smelled of the same sweet and spicy tea of the previous day, with the lingering taste of cinnamon and honey. 

“Ja, it worked”, he replied, and that seemed to please Caduceus as his smile broadened until his eyes wrinkled up. A pulse of warmth rose through Caleb’s chest, and for a moment he forgot to breathe but in the best way possible. 

“Good. Breakfast will be ready soon, just need to finish this apple”, Caduceus said, returning to the plates. Caleb sipped his tea, wondering how he’d gotten himself into this.

* * *

“There it is.”

It wasn’t often that Caduceus sounded more excitedly than a light-hearted lift to his tone of voice. This was practically gleeful for him, his voice raising in volume  _ and _ tone while he gestured to the temple before them.

Unfortunately Caleb would have been more inclined to call it a ruin not a temple. While the structure of the building was mostly intact, it was clear to see that either no-one had been left to care for the temple for a very long time, or the nature of worshipping the Wildmother had dictated that the temple become overgrown. Vines and roots decorated the stonework of the steps leading up to the open entrance, only rusted hinges suggesting that doors had existed at all to keep the outdoors at bay. Leaves scattered the ground like petals from a by-gone wedding, abandoned birds’ nests hidden in the nooks within the roof and ceiling. But within the alcove that was the interior of the temple, beckoning travelers into the Mother’s embrace, was a stone table altar marked by the crook and wreath of Melora. Dried flowers and a woven basket marked the place where pilgrims could have lead offerings to her, asking for her intervention or her blessing. The little grove the temple had hidden itself in carried a peaceful aura that Caleb often felt coming from Caduceus.

“It is lovely”, Caleb breathed out, turning to Caduceus. But the smile was gone from his face. His brows were furrowed, his ears tilted forward to listen. And then he was hurrying up the steps into the temple, faster than Caleb could respond to and do his best to catch up. 

“Caduceus!”, he called after him. “What is wrong?” Reaching the top of the steps, he watched as Caduceus plucked the woven basket from the altar. Again, Caleb felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle uncomfortably, invisible eyes watching them, judging them. But Caduceus was a cleric of the Wildmother - surely him taking old offerings wouldn’t incur any retribution on her part. 

“Why are you taking an old basket?”, Caleb questioned. “What’s inside that so-” 

Words failed in his throat, his eyes taking in the contents of the basket as Caduceus brought it down for him to see. No aged offerings filled the basket. Instead there lay a tiny baby, sleeping swaddled in a tatty blanket, the faintest licks of black hair beginning to dot their scalp.

Caleb and Caduceus looked from the baby up to each other.

“I think I know now why the Wildmother wanted me to come here”, Caduceus whispered.


	3. sprout and leaf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: there is discussion within this chapter that touches on child abandonment and death. There is no significant detail to the discussion, but if that bothers you, stop reading at “No, I was the youngest sibling” and pick back up at “Well, we do not know when the next pilgrims might return [...]”

As much as the initial shock of the situation was still running through Caleb (there was a baby alone in the middle of the woods, left on the altar of a partially ruined temple) he was already running through important thoughts. The first of these was that the blanket didn’t look very thick - it was wrapped several times around the baby, but the basket had been left on cold stone, so good for leeching away the vital warmth needed to keep anyone healthy. Reaching into the basket, he carefully dipped his hands under the baby and lifted him out, cradling him up against his chest. 

“Oh Gotten, they’re so light, and chilled”, he whispered, panic beginning to set in. Not cold as ice, not cold like a grave, but too cold to be healthy for such a young age. Undoing his coat, he brought the baby in closer, letting the material drape over them both while providing more of his body warmth to bring the baby to a better temperature. They seemed to be very deep asleep, not responding to being lifted or moved around.

Were they too late?

Caleb’s eyes jolted up to Caduceus as the spike of fear drove through his chest with that lone thought, even as the firbolg reached down and past his coat to press a couple of fingers to the baby’s chest. Caduceus’ eyes were narrowed in focus and confusion alike, his ears twitching slightly.

“They’re fine”, he finally said. “Breathing seems normal. Just asleep.”

“Oh fuck”, Caleb breathed out in relief. Caduceus still seemed confused though, although now his focus was swivelling up to Caleb. Why had he panicked so much? Surely the parents of the baby would have made sure they were properly swaddled and warm for when they would return to the temple. With the blanket and the basket, that had to have been enough. Right? Caduceus turned the basket over in his hands. Twigs and straw had been finely woven together to a firm structure, definitely made by someone with the time and skill to put it together. But it was thin, only really durable enough to hold the baby and not do much else. 

“Maybe we should put the baby back again”, Caduceus said quietly. “I doubt the parents will have gone too far, or left too long ago. Surely they’ll be back soon, and I don’t think they’d appreciate some strangers holding their baby.”

“......Caduceus, this baby is  _ chilled _ . They must have been on that table for a couple hours at least”, Caleb responded. “And what parents would leave their infant of such an age unattended for that long?”

“Maybe they didn’t expect to be away for so long.” It didn’t matter what Caduceus said, even Caleb could see he didn’t necessarily believe his own words. A nervous drag on the tone, holding his hands together, and finally a longing glance out towards the woods around them. Caduceus desperately wanted to hope that the parents were going to return, but either the signs before them or experiences long past were taking that hope and laying it low below the truth in their arms. It saddened him, weighed him down, his eyes beginning to droop down as his shoulders curled in. It damn near broke Caleb’s heart. 

“Well…..maybe we can wait for them to come back”, Caleb said. “I’m sure you’re right that they can’t be away for too much longer. But if it’s all the same to you, I would much rather keep hold of the little one than to put them back in the basket.” He had begun to gently rock his arms, swaying on the spot to try and make sure the baby stayed asleep. Caduceus wondered if Caleb was even aware of what he was doing. Whether he did or he didn’t, a moment of silent contemplation and adoration towards the instinctive caring was needed before Caduceus could respond.

“That seems reasonable, I suppose”, he murmured, scratching slowly at his jaw. “I will commune with the Wildmother in the meantime. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Of course.” It felt strange, to so openly lie to one another. But Caduceus wanted to hope, and Caleb couldn’t take that away from him. Not when the hope was crystallised in the form of such young life. 

Caduceus continued to check over the baby, fingers huge in comparison against the petite form. He gently turned the head aside, taking note of the slightly pointed ears of a half-elf. No injuries, old or new, no peculiar birthmarks or signs of illness. The body temperature was beginning to gently rise with Caleb’s close proximity at least. 

_ “Ah-chuu!” _

A few breathless seconds passed as the baby wriggled their nose. Perhaps they would go back to sleep. Perhaps they would just wake up and be fine. Alas, the eventual decision was that sneezing themselves awake was apparently the worst thing in their life to have happened. Tiny red mouth opening wide as their eyes scrunched up, the reedy wail of tired babies everywhere started up from the infant in Caleb’s arms. 

“Oh no”, Caleb muttered. He began to bob and rock like his life depended on it, and in these woods it probably did. Any hunting beast with a good ear would definitely hear the cry of a baby and come following it for a good meal, and while Caleb fancied he could easily take on a regular wolf or three he preferred the option of not having to fling around any offensive spells at all today. It really didn’t help that his experience with looking after or caring for babies was pretty much limited to none (unless Kiri counted? No, she could at least walk around and ineffectively try to stab things if absolutely necessary). Even just holding the baby was a matter of understanding that small creatures needed supporting under the head and under the torso, like whenever he’d cradled Frumpkin despite the familiar’s indignant responses. 

The baby kept wailing though, pitch and volume kicking upward as they began to wriggle slightly in Caleb’s arms. Caduceus’ ears were flat against his head now, and he shook his head slightly.

“This isn’t good”, he said.

“What gave that away?”, Caleb snapped back, and then bit back his tongue. He hadn’t meant to snap, but the wailing was pushing him further and further on edge, desperation mixing irritation to try and soothe this child back to sleep. He couldn’t dare allow himself to show this desperation to the baby though. He didn’t know what to do. 

“I’m sorry”, he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know anything about babies, I don’t know what to do to settle them - hush, it’s okay.” Again he tried to gently bob the baby in his arms, but they only screamed more toward his face. His mind was screaming too, overwhelmed by paternal instinct that had been kicked up by the baby’s crying. A burning need to soothe and quieten the baby, to calm them and protect them and look after them. But he didn’t know what to do to help the baby. He could protect, but he couldn’t care. He was rather useless.

“They might be scared by us, since we are strangers. Might be tired”, Caduceus commented, turning to his satchel and sitting down on the stone steps as he rummaged within the bag. “Or they might be hungry again, now that they’ve woken up from a nap.” 

“I….I don’t exactly have anything functional that could help with that”, Caleb stammered out.

“A baby of this age should be able to consume other solid…..solid- _ ish _ foods”, Caduceus told him, keeping that low calm tone despite Caleb’s humming panic. Pulling out a mug, his water canteen, a jar of honey and a handful of raspberries, Caduceus began to slowly and methodically crush the berries within the mug, pouring in small amounts of water at a time. 

“I’d usually warn against giving honey to babies, but these berries might be a little bitter and if I only add a little less than a teaspoon then it should be just fine for them”, he explained as he stirred in the honey. It was remarkably methodical, the way he prepared the berry jam-puree. Something practised over many occasions. Perhaps it was something that Caduceus had made often when he’d lived in the graveyard, when he’d still had his family around. While Caleb did his best to watch, his attention was still torn towards the wailing baby, who was now starting to obviously show tears dribbling down from the scrunched up eyes to accompany the screeching. His bobbing continued, whispered Zemnian pouring out to try and hush the cries, until he felt Caduceus tap his leg. Caduceus beckoned Caleb down, and he managed to awkwardly squat his way down to a seat on the stone steps, preferring to wobble slightly than to let go of the baby. With a spoonful of berry puree on a spoon, Caduceus lifted it up to the baby.

“Here, you hungry?”, he asked aloud. “You wanna eat?”

The Wildmother was apparently smiling on the three people sat in her temple today, because the wailing petered out. Those tight shut eyes opened up, revealing wide dark brown pupils, and they blinked up at Caduceus before looking to the spoon. With delicate movements, Caduceus nudged the spoon to the baby’s mouth, where they began to suck on the berry puree, slowly and messily eating it off the spoon. Careful spooning kept the puree from falling onto the baby’s chin and blanket, and while the baby chewed (well, gummed the soft mixture, Caleb had seen some signs of teeth but barely enough to think they could properly chew anything), Caduceus scooped out another spoonful from the mug and waited for the baby to open up their mouth in demand of more. A sense of relief lifted the panicked weight from Caleb’s shoulders, watching the pacified baby eagerly gum the spoon even when most of the puree had been eaten, soft cooing gurgles bubbling up from them. It seemed a bit awkward for Caduceus to be leaning over them though, having to shuffle up so close to Caleb and then bend forward, needing to lean in close to make sure no puree was spilt or burped up or whatever mishaps could happen with babies. This also meant that Caduceus was very close to Caleb, the line between his thick locks of hair and the fuzz of his shaven spiral just below Caleb’s chin. It left Caleb very aware of how warm Caduceus seemed, even at this distance, and how his low murmuring to the baby rumbled at a pitch that made Caleb’s posture melt slightly, and how from here he smelled slightly of chamomile and dirt. 

“Would you, ah-” Caleb’s question caught itself midway when Caduceus looked up to him, attention diverted from the baby and those pink eyes caught on Caleb’s. “Do you want to hold them? To make it easier for you to feed them?”

“I’m quite fine, thank you. You’re doing an excellent job, Mister Caleb”, Caduceus responded, all warm smiles and encouragement and it sent a gooey fluttering happiness through Caleb’s gut. 

“I hope the parents will not mind if they return and find us like this”, he said quietly. Caduceus’ hand stilled, one of his ears flicking. From this angle Caleb couldn’t see Caduceus’ face but he could certainly make an estimate on how he was feeling. 

“They should be alright with it”, Caduceus finally responded. “It’s why the Wildmother sent me here, after all. I don’t mind a small stint of babysitting, if that’s what she so desired.” He took the edge of the blanket to wipe the baby’s lips, watching as two fists tried to grab for his hand. “New life is a precious thing, after all.” He sat back, setting the spoon within the now half-empty mug of berry puree, his head tilted to the side as he examined the baby. Their face wrinkled up slightly, but that was just so they could swallow their last mouthful it would seem. Caleb could see the growing curiosity and  _ life _ in those eyes as the baby looked between the two men. There was thought and potential in that tiny head that he cradled. There was a whole living being, so small and tender. How humbling, and how important it was to protect. 

“I’ll leave the mug for you to feed them if they get hungry again”, Caduceus said, getting slowly to his feet. “I imagine they’ll probably just want to nap after that.”

“Hopefully”, Caleb murmured, looking down at the baby let out a quiet coo and then yawned. They did seem to be starting to doze again. “Their parents should be back by the time they wake up, if so.”

“They should”, Caduceus murmured, beginning to ascend the steps further into the temple.   


* * *

Hours began to tick over themselves. Not entirely content with sitting constantly on rock, Caleb spent some time wandering the temple grounds, the baby in his arms. For a couple of hours he took out his spellbook and went through his notes, relieving his arms of the weight of young life for a while. But the baby went into the basket on top of his coat, folded inside an extra layer of warmth. It wasn’t like it was too chilly for Caleb, he could survive a few shivers while his body readjusted itself to the temperature. The baby slept heavily and for a long time, and when they woke up again then Caleb at least knew what to do. It was unnerving at first, knowing he had to let go of the baby in order to feed them, but after adjusting the baby into the crook of one arm and being able to cast a rapid Mage Hand to hold the mug up, Caleb soon found himself a rhythm in spooning berry puree into the waiting mouth. 

Inside the temple, Caduceus sat and prayed. Trails of incense smoke would weave the air, thin and musky as they slunk up towards the open sky. Caduceus’ posture remained steadfast and straight, his eyes closed, and only sometimes his lips would move in communion and prayer. Sometimes there’d be moment where his brow furrowed and he shook his head in slight distaste, or disagreement. The Wildmother knew best, her words were his path. But he didn’t like it. Not always. Definitely not now.

The sun was beginning to set behind the treeline by the time Caduceus reemerged, his eyes gazing out into the empty forest around them. Caleb looked up to him, and they both knew that it was time to set the lie aside.

“We cannot leave them”, Caleb said immediately. 

“I know”, Caduceus responded, his voice sounding weary. Not from exertion, but from acceptance. “I had simply hoped. I always did. We always did.” There were further words there, hidden in Caduceus’ past and held back from his lips. But now was not the time to explain, now he had two mouths to feed instead of one. Making his way down to the bottom of the steps where Caleb stood, Caduceus began to gather loose twigs.

“We’ll make a campfire, and sleep in the protection of the Mother’s embrace”, he explained. “Tomorrow we’ll take them back to town.”

“Gut”, Caleb said simply. 

The wizard continued to cradle the baby, beginning to murmur when they awoke to the sound of crackling fire and the smell of Caduceus cooking up some mushrooms he’d found by the base of several trees, served out on bread from his Create Food spell. A tiny portion of crushed vegetables was measured out as well, and Caduceus did his best to try and encourage the baby to eat a little of something that hadn’t been berries. The baby did not agree with this.

“They are not hungry, so why won’t they stop crying  _ now _ ?”, Caleb said, his voice beginning to whine in fatigued desperation as he rocked the hollering baby in his arms. He’d retreated into the Hut as soon as new wails began to pour out from the child, and when Caduceus had finished dousing the fire and arriving to rest, the crying had certainly not stopped.

“.....Have you taken them out of the blanket at any point today?”, Caduceus asked. 

“No? I did not want them to get cold”, Caleb replied. 

“Set them on the sleeping mat, they might need to change their underclothes.” Caduceus gestured forward, and Caleb complied, laying the baby down on his mat and beginning to unwrap the blanket. 

“.....Ach, shit”, Caleb muttered.

“Literally.”

It was a good thing that Caleb at least knew  _ of _ the spell Prestidigitation, loathe he had been to actually use it in his earlier years. With the worst of baby care contended with, it was hoped that would appease the baby. It didn’t. Instead they continued to weep, hands flailing for an embrace that Caleb nor Caduceus could provide. Sat on his mat, Caleb tried to rock the baby back and forth, hoping the swaying would bring them to sleep. Caduceus set the baby up by his shoulder, gently patting their back for reasons Caleb didn’t understand. Nothing helped. Nothing eased it. Only when the crying died down to a series of hiccups and then silence did Caduceus and Caleb breathe out a sigh of relief. Folding the baby into their blanket and Caleb’s coat, they were laid back into their basket and Caleb could dismiss his Lights within the Hut.

“I think they were just very tired”, Caduceus whispered to the darkness where he was sure Caleb was sat.

“That makes two of us”, Caleb replied. Another sigh, this one more haggard than relieved, and Caduceus felt a pressure on his shoulder that felt like the right size and texture to be Caleb’s head. It would be so easy for Caduceus to turn his head and press a kiss to Caleb’s forehead. He could do it now. It would be gentle affection, the same kind he’d seen Beau give Jester or Caleb give Nott. It would be fine. So why couldn’t he do it? Instead he reached up his hand and began to card his fingers through Caleb’s hair, feeling the body next to him relax.

“You get some sleep too, Mister Caleb”, he murmured, and was glad to hear the muffled wordless hum of response. 

* * *

“Mister Clay, you seem to know an awful lot about babies.”

Caduceus blinked, examining Caleb’s expression. His brow was creased more than normal, questions built up on the usual weariness that Caleb carried. Caduceus looked down to the baby in his arm, gurgling happily as he spooned them another mouthful of breakfast, and then back to Caleb.

“You seem surprised by this”, Caduceus said.

“I suppose, ja. I don’t know anything about babies because I’ve never had to interact with them. And, well….you lived in a graveyard”, Caleb said. 

“Just because my family was charged with the end of lives, doesn’t mean we didn’t know plenty about the beginning of them”, Caduceus replied. “Life and death is all part of the natural cycle.”

“Ah. Did you just have younger siblings then?”, Caleb asked. He was trying to figure out where Caduceus had gotten his experience, and Caduceus could already forsee his heart beginning to pang for the truth the firbolg was going to give him. 

“No, I was the youngest sibling”, he explained. “It’s just that sometimes people would leave babies at the graveyard.” He paused, partially to make sure the baby didn’t accidentally spit out their mouthful and partially to let Caleb absorb what he’d said. People often needed to do that. “It happened sometimes. I didn’t see it happen often, but when I had then my parents told me that it was an ongoing thing. Folks would have a baby, be unable to actually look after it, and rather than watch them fade in their own arms they would either leave them to the creatures of the wood or they’d hope that we could do a better job.” 

His face went slack briefly, saddened by memory. “There’d be one or two who were too ill when we found them, and we wouldn’t be able to save them. Others though, we’d feed them, bathe them, help them grow until we knew they were strong, and then walk them back towards the nearest town. There’d be some who wanted to stay, who would grow up more until they decided to leave by their own wishes. I grew up with one myself, but the others I helped care for were returned to the town.” 

The baby gurgled, flapping an arm into Caduceus’ chest, and he offered them another spoonful of breakfast to gum on. Caleb was still silent, his fingers worrying over a thread in his scarf. 

“That is a lot of responsibility”, Caleb finally said. “And the loss….Caduceus, I-”

“Life and death, Mister Caleb. The Clays dealt with both, as is the way of the Wildmother”, Caduceus said. “We mourn those rare few we cannot heal, but we accept that there was little we could do for them.” He looked down to the baby, and smiled so fondly. The baby gurgled again, and then clapped their hands, beaming right back up at Caduceus. Caleb chuckled faintly, unable to stop himself smiling at the sweet picture before him. 

“Well, we do not know when the next pilgrims might return to this temple, and I don’t think we have the time to raise this little one”, Caleb said. “We had best take them back to the town, see if there is someone who will take them in or if there is an orphanage to care for them.”

“Indeed so”, Caduceus said. “Say, could you hold them for a moment? I need to make something.” Handing the baby over to Caleb, Caduceus took a long strip of cloth from his back and began to fold it over, knotting the ends together. He worked meticulously and carefully, enough that he didn’t quite notice the thoughtful expression on Caleb’s face as he gently rocked the baby and did his best to protect the lapel of his coat from curious hands.

“Should we give them a name?”, Caleb finally spoke up, glancing up as Caduceus stood with the odd cloth contraption set across his back and chest. He’d abstained from putting on his armour that morning, Caleb noted. 

“Hmmm...wouldn’t you be worried about getting too attached to them?”, Caduceus replied, taking the baby from Caleb and nestling them into the cloth. A sling, it turned out to be, swaddling the baby gently as Caduceus eased them into place on his back. 

“Nein, I just feel it would be better to give them a name than to just keep calling them ‘the baby’. It is awkward. And they are a little person of their own right”, Caleb replied. 

“That’s reasonable….I’d like to call them Cornelius, if that’s acceptable”, Caduceus commented, glancing over his shoulder at the half-elf baby, who cooed back at him.

“I did have a name in mind.”

“Oh?”

Caleb hesitated. His hands kept picking at his scarf.

“Leofric.”

Caduceus didn’t argue. He made sure Leofric was securely in place, picked up his satchel, and the pair-turned-trio began to leave the grove of the Wildmother.


	4. trembling stalk

Some might say the weight of new life was a heavy burden to carry. Technically speaking, Caduceus would disagree - he still noticed the weight of Leofric at his back as he and Caleb made their careful way through the undergrowth, but he would hardly consider the baby to be hugely heavy. A bit lighter than expected perhaps, undernourished or simply too young to carry enough significant weight. But the presence of Leofric….that was something Caduceus simply couldn’t ignore. It was a burden of life, a burden to care. It was a tiny beacon to the rest of the world, of great potential, and of great vulnerability. Knowing something small and precious and made of infinite possibilities was cradled behind him. Whether the baby was asleep or quietly burbling and tangling their tiny fingers into Caduceus’ hair. 

That last bit especially was beginning to cause a little bit of a problem. Caduceus let out a pained sound as he felt a fist bunch up around a lock of his hair. Leofric didn’t even really need to pull too hard, it was just incredibly uncomfortable having his hair being held onto like some mittened fool holding reins.

“Are you alright there Caduceus?”, Caleb questioned, having turned at the grunting sound, nevermind how faint it had been.

“Leofric seems to like my hair”, Caduceus replied, and promptly felt the gradual curious tug he’d been hoping wouldn’t happen. He gritted his teeth, not wanting to make any outcry that could make Leofric cry or potentially spook Caleb. He was fine, it was just perfectly normal baby curiosity. Wanting to investigate and explore, find out how things worked, what happened when hair was pulled on. 

“Ach, schatz.” Caleb made his way back closer to Caduceus, reaching up and gently freeing the fistful of locks from Leofric’s hand. This is didn’t seem to upset them, as they simply gurgled and began to stroke the soft material of Caduceus’ shirt. Beckoning Caduceus to lean down slightly, Caleb gathered up his thick pink hair and began to weave it together with deft fingers, eyes focused on the task much the same way he focused on casting a spell. Caduceus didn’t think to ask  _ why _ until the braid was almost complete, as his eyes had been too focused on Caleb’s face.

“What are you doing?”, he asked finally.

“If your hair is in a braid, they cannot pull on it”, Caleb explained, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it was simple. Actually, it was pretty simple, now that Caduceus thought about it more. Standing up straight again, he looked over the braid that now slung over his shoulder, a thick pink rope, no stray hairs or messy curls. 

“You’re very good at braids”, he commented to Caleb. Even if the words had been meant as praise, he couldn’t help but notice how the wizard’s response was more like he’d been deftly pricked by a needle, his eyes closing for a moment while he rubbed his arm.

“I had practise”, Caleb replied. And that was it. The finality of those words swallowed up any curious questions Caduceus had to ask, such as what did ‘schatz’ mean? What kind of practise meant he was good at braiding hair? The words vanished into the tugging void that came with the end of the sentence, and left Caduceus muted. Caleb took a final cursory glance over the plait of hair and gave Caduceus a faint smile that immediately brought warmth to the firbolg’s chest, soft bubbling warmth that Caleb would always bring with his smiles, so rare and treasured. Caduceus liked to see Caleb smile, for whatever reason. Watching him move on ahead of him, he could already feel Leofric trying to wrap their little fingers around the braided hair, but it didn’t feel like irritating tugging, only small sensations as their hands brushed over the hair but didn’t quite manage to grip. A brief moment of panic flared up as Caduceus wondered if depriving Leofric of their interest and entertainment would throw them into a teary state, but all he heard was a soft coo as Leofric’s attention began to turn back to the woodland around them as they trod the pathway. 

It was good to see and hear such interest. Perhaps there was a good reason for this child to have ended up on the Wildmother’s altar, with their apparent curiosity in the woods they traveled through. And it was entirely reasonable - the trees around them were bursting with life. Woodpeckers chirped and chimed in harmony with nightingales and robins, butterflies flitted past flowers pushing up from the ground, daisies and dandelions and foxgloves. Spotting the purple bell-shaped flowers, Caduceus stepped towards them, pointing them out to Leofric and glancing back to the baby.

“See these?”, he said gently. “They’re very pretty, but this is actually very poisonous. So no matter what, you can’t eat these yourself. It’s really nice to have these out for the insects though, they just love them. Hey there”, he greeted a small bee that crawled up into one of the bells of the flower. Leofric let out a loud delighted cry, waving a hand as if to mimic Caduceus’ gesture.

“You know they have no idea what you’re saying, right?”, Caleb commented from further down the path. At some point he’d summoned in Frumpkin to his shoulders, and even now his fingers were curling up under the chin of the purring cat. His other hand was bunched up into his scarf. Perhaps he should’ve been holding Frumpkin, but more likely he needed that extra weight on his shoulders. To ground him, as the familiar had a tendency to do.

“Unlikely, but babies respond better if you talk to them more”, Caduceus said. “They’d probably love it if you talked to them about your books.”

“They’d probably get bored”, Caleb responded, shrugging a shoulder and putting a hand to where one of his books rested under his coat. Not the arcanic book, Caduceus remembered that one was on his other side. So what was….nevermind. It was just another question to add to the list he was growing for the wizard. 

* * *

Walking was heavier work in this direction than heading towards the temple. Perhaps it was having to carry the baby (although they barely weighed anything to Caduceus, the mental weight exerted was greater than the physical) or perhaps he hadn’t taken into account the roll of hills across the land. That they would need to ascend while on their way to the temple they had just been descending.

Caduceus didn’t mind too much. He was in the calm of the forest, the air full of dew and growth filling his lungs - 

No.

That wasn’t growth. 

His ears flicked up either side of his head as he stopped in his tracks, turning to look around him. Leofric cooed, unaware of any danger but possibly confused why they’d stopped moving. Caduceus kept searching. Listening. Breathing in deep.

“Caduceus?” Caleb was returning back to him now, very much confused. But with the confusion was a deep-set nervousness that was beginning to tighten his posture, springs in his muscles curling up in preparation to fight or flee. He could tell something was wrong, but he couldn’t tell what. He was relying on Caduceus for that.

“Off the path”, Caduceus murmured, placing a hand in the middle of Caleb’s shoulders and pushing, ushering the group away from the worn-down footpath they’d been following thus far. Without any argument, Caleb moved into the bushes, stumbling over hidden roots and feeling the lapel of his coat be caught by Caduceus’ fingers. It felt less like he was finding his own hiding spot and more like the firbolg was puppeteering him into place, finding a nook within a tree trunk and pushing all three of them inside. Caduceus removed Leofric from his shoulders and cradled them in his arms so his tall frame could squeeze into the back of the narrow space, leaving Caleb and Leofric nestled in front of him.

Caleb wanted to question what was out there, but he got an inkling he would find out soon enough if Caduceus had been this keen to get them into a hiding spot. It wasn’t the best of places - he was squeezed up against Caduceus’ chest, feeling each breath with a slow rise and fall, and something a great swell against Caleb’s front as Caduceus breathed in deeply. 

And then he stopped, held his breath, and Caleb clapped a hand over his own face as the stench of rotting plant matter began to seep into his nose. In Caduceus’ arms, Leofric’s face went from confused to a disgusted grimace, tiny hands rubbing at his face as the building hiccups of tears began to build.

Caleb and Caduceus were a touch distracted to respond immediately. Their attention was fixed on the huge boar that was passing by their hiding spot. At least, it could’ve been a boar. Maybe it had been a boar once, and now all that was left was the shape and bristled hide and large tusks protruding from the mouth. Everything else was a knotted mass of vegetation, vines contracting as muscles did, bark taking the place of shoulders and hooves. Branches grew sporadically from places along the back, bending as it brushed past trees without a care, rubbing moss against one tree as it seemed to try and rid itself of an itch. Deep-set within the long face, covered in leaves and fur, glinting green pebbles squinted out into the forest around it, and Caleb prayed it didn’t spot them.

Leofric hiccuped again, the warning becoming louder as a proper baby’s cry started to leave their tiny body, and suddenly Caleb’s attention snapped around to them and the possible threat of Leofric’s tears drawing the attention of the monster outside their hiding place.

“It’s okay”, he whispered, raising his hands to try and sooth little Leofric, but their tiny mouth was opening up more, thin wails being produced far too loud for Caleb and Caduceus’ own comfort. With an expression of panic on his face, Caduceus hastily placed Leofric into Caleb’s arms and began to mutter under his breath, hands moving in the motions of an incantation. Peeking out through a crack in the side of their hideaway, Caleb could see the woodland boar stop in its tracks and begin to turn its head. It sniffed the air, and Caleb could hear the low rumbling snort of air as if the boar had pressed up against his ear. Those mean green pebbles scanned the forest around it, searching for the source of the infant wails.

“It’s okay Leofric”, Caleb whispered, doing his best to bounce Leofric in his arms. The baby wasn’t happy at all with the compost stench filling the air, but the gentle movements seemed to be distracting them as dark brown eyes stared up at Caleb and the wails became hiccups again. For a moment Caleb thought that Leofric would calm down, and the boar would become calm as well and move on.

Then the creature outside opened its maw, and Caleb saw splinters of rock where there should have been teethed, and out erupted a squeal that was less boar and more the scream of flint and shale scratched against each other. It made the leaves tremble in the trees, Caleb could feel his teeth rattle in his skull as his heart-rate ramped up in an attempt to block the sound through rapid thumping, and Leofric’s eyes went huge in fear. 

Their mouth opened in a wail of terror, wide enough for Caleb to count the few teeth that had come through. And no sound came out. 

In the beat of time between the boar’s screech and Leofric deciding to let out the howl of their teeny life, Caduceus had stopped whispering. Now all that Caleb could hear was the hammering rush of blood in his ears. Leofric screamed, and screamed, and they began to flail their hands when they realised they couldn’t hear their own screams. Caleb wrapped his arms tight around the baby, holding them against his chest and under his chin, and pressing a hand to the back of their head. Back and forth he rocked them with his body, continuing on as the flailing stopped and he could see Leofric’s mouth finally close from screaming and instead forming the shape of simple crying. He could feel tiny fingers dig into his coat, and wondered if Leofric knew they were holding onto him for comfort, or whether it was a matter of instinct. Next to them both, Caduceus kept watch, an eye pressed against another gap in the trunk.

Caleb couldn’t hear the boar anymore, and he cared not to look away from Leofric to check outside. Only when the drag of rotting leaves and wet bark began to fade from his nose did he realise his breathing was becoming deep with relief. Dropping his head back against Caduceus’ chest, Caleb looked up to the firbolg and saw similar expression on his face that Caleb felt in himself, those long eyelashes fluttering shut as his posture sagged and he leaned fully lax against the tree itself. A smile spread across his face, the joy of having narrowly avoided a nasty incident.

“I swear I could kiss you right now”, Caleb muttered despite himself, and was pleased to see his words were swallowed completely by the Silence spell. Since Caduceus didn’t notice and didn’t respond, Caleb turned his attention back to Leofric. Their cheeks were still red and shiny with tears, which he wiped away with his scarf as he rocked them slowly. But it seemed the worst of the situation was past, now that the source of their aggravation had vanished back into the forest. When Caleb could begin to hear the sounds of foliage rustling and birds singing overhead, the worst that he could hear from Leofric was weakened whining which seemed to tear at his heart strings much worse than the muted screaming of a few moments ago.

“Ach, Leochen, es ist alles gut”, Caleb whispered to them. “Alles gut, kleine Maus.” He cradled them close, ignoring the emotional pain that ruptured his chest as he murmured those words to them over and over. All was well, little mouse. All was well. They were safe.

“It’s a good thing you had that Silence spell prepared today”, Caleb commented to Caduceus as he wriggled his way free of their nook within the tree. Getting inside had been considerably easier than it was getting out, perhaps to do with being harried along by urgency and fear. Now they were realising they had splinters stuck in clothes and bits of rotted bark stuck underfoot, which Caduceus was doing his best to brush off himself, the sling and off Caleb. Naturally Leofric had avoided the worst of everything, being shielded by Caleb’s arms and body.

“I did consider the necessities of having such a spell on hand”, Caduceus told him, tugging another shard of bark free from his plait and flicking it into the undergrowth. “The forest is definitely not a kind place to children and infants, and while we are certainly capable of protecting ourselves, it is…a little hampered when we have a baby in arms.”

“If it is alright with you, I would much rather avoid any kind of confrontation that requires protecting ourselves”, Caleb muttered, making his way out of the bushes and onto the path. 

“Agreed!”, Caduceus called back. Shaking himself loose, he followed Caleb and Leofric out, and found the human standing stock still in the clear route of their travel path. 

A wolf was naught but a hundred metres from them. Two wolves now, as Caduceus watched the second tread out. These seemed to be ordinary canines, not blessed by nature and turned into beings that were more forest than beast. They may well have been tracking the boar, as they sniffed at the deep hoof scuffs in the dirt and didn’t seem to notice the pair of humanoids that had blundered out from the woodland deep.   
Caduceus reached forward slowly. His hand found Caleb’s shoulder. Gently he tugged, moving Caleb backwards. They could go back into the woods. They could backtrack down the path. They could just wait and hide until the wolves went away-

Leofric screeched. They may have been tired, or hungry, or they may have used that strange sense of babies to pick up on the tension in the air. Regardless, the stillness was abruptly broken by teary baby screaming.

The wolves looked up, and Caleb pushed Leofric back into Caduceus’ arms. He wrapped his grip tight around them, finding the sling and beginning to wind that back around them. Mostly he made sure their gaze was away from the direction of the wolves as he smelled phosphorus on the air and heard the  _ woosh _ of flames from Caleb’s hands. With Leofric strapped to his chest, just above the armour (it was the best Caduceus could do in such a short period of time), he turned to meet Caleb only to find Caleb grabbing his hand and pulling him along.

“Quickly! Before the rest of the pack decide to show up!”, Caleb snapped out. Caduceus squeezed his hand, and picked up his feet from underneath him, his other arm cradling Leofric as they dashed madly onward. 


End file.
